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Science

SCIENCE

Lake Michigan Water Levels Drop Another 7 Inches as Lake Reportedly 'Going Through Something'

By James Okafor

Hydrologists confirm that Lake Michigan's water levels have declined steadily since last year, falling 17 inches over two years. Researchers say the lake appears to be withdrawing emotionally as well as physically.

SCIENCE

Lake Michigan Offers to Share Water With Drought-Stricken Downstate, Demands Naming Rights in Return

By James Okafor

As 80% of Illinois suffers through worsening drought conditions, the Great Lake has reportedly proposed a water-sharing agreement with terms that hydrologists are calling 'bold' and 'very lake-like.'

SCIENCE

Lake Michigan Petitions Federal Government for Reclassification as Ocean

By James Okafor

Great Lake files 200-page brief arguing its 'emotional vastness and unpredictable fury' meet every reasonable definition of an ocean.

SCIENCE

Scientists Discover Chicago River Now Flows in Third, Previously Unknown Direction

By James Okafor

Researchers at the University of Chicago have identified a baffling new flow pattern in the Chicago River that defies conventional hydrology and, frankly, physics.