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BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One • BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One •

Wisconsin Man Under Investigation After April Fools' Prank "Goes Too Far"

A Chicago-based tech firm discovered their offices overrun with live penguins after surveillance cameras were looped for ninety minutes. Authorities are searching for a person of interest with a familiar history.

By Jordan Pryce — Apr 1, 2026

March Weather Recap: Chicago Experienced All Four Seasons on 17 Separate Days

By Tom Hennessey

Culpepper Terminated a Record Fourth Time After Rearranging Entire Newsroom According to Feng Shui

By Tom Hennessey

Latest News

Bulls Waive Jaden Ivey Two Hours Before Tipoff 'For Conduct Detrimental to the Team,' Decline to Specify Conduct

By Sofia Russo — Mar 31, 2026

Retired Crossing Guard Still Shows Up to His Corner Every Morning, Nobody Has the Heart to Tell Him

By James Okafor — Mar 29, 2026

CTA Launches 'Farecard Inspection Missions,' Assures Riders the Name Was Not Arrived at Ironically

By Sofia Russo — Mar 29, 2026

Science & Environment

It Is 75 Degrees in Chicago and We Are Not Going to Talk About What Happens Next

By James Okafor — Mar 30, 2026

Bridgeport Pothole Develops Thriving Ecosystem, Applies for Wetland Protection

By Marcus Williams — Mar 24, 2026

Business & Technology

Linguists Decode Rental Listing for 'Cozy' Lincoln Park Studio, Find 23 Euphemisms

By Rachel Kim — Mar 30, 2026

Chicago Bulls Fans Pivot to Loss Optimization Strategy, Report Record Engagement Metrics

By Rachel Kim — Mar 30, 2026

New 12,000-Square-Foot Pan-Mediterranean Restaurant Opening on Chicago Riverwalk Is Just a Restaurant, Developers Insist

By Rachel Kim — Mar 29, 2026

Opinion & Lifestyle

Rivers Restaurant Closing After 30 Years, Leaving Loop Traders With Nowhere to Discuss Futures Contracts Over Salmon

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 31, 2026

Victor Wembanyama Scored 41 Points Against the Bulls in 8 Minutes and 31 Seconds of Double-Double Time, Which Is Not a Basketball Statistic

By James Okafor — Mar 31, 2026

The White Sox Lost 14-2 on Opening Day and Struck Out Twenty Times and I Need Everyone to Understand What That Means

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 30, 2026