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Opinion

OPINION

March Weather Recap: Chicago Experienced All Four Seasons on 17 Separate Days

By Tom Hennessey

Meteorologists confirm that March 2026 delivered summer, winter, fall, and spring conditions on more than half its calendar days, sometimes within the same afternoon.

OPINION

Victor Wembanyama Scored 41 Points Against the Bulls in 8 Minutes and 31 Seconds of Double-Double Time, Which Is Not a Basketball Statistic

By James Okafor

James Okafor attended Monday's game in San Antonio and has questions about what he witnessed that extend beyond the realm of sports journalism.

OPINION

The White Sox Lost 14-2 on Opening Day and Struck Out Twenty Times and I Need Everyone to Understand What That Means

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey watched Chicago's other baseball team play their first game of the season. He has feelings.

OPINION

The Cubs Lost 10-4, Then Won 10-4, and Nobody Is Talking About This

By James Okafor

In the opening week at Wrigley Field, the universe folded neatly in half. James Okafor was there for both.

OPINION

I Watched the Bulls Give Up 157 Points Last Night and I Have Some Thoughts

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey sat down to watch some basketball. He is still processing.

OPINION

Bridgeport Man's Dibs Collection Now Exceeds Available Parking Spots on His Block

By Tom Hennessey

Walter Novak has placed 14 chairs across 11 parking spots he claims to have shoveled at various points during the last three winters.

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OPINION

Bears Spend Entire Free Agency Period Buying Things, Fans Cautiously Optimistic for First Time Since Last Time

By Tom Hennessey

Ryan Poles has signed a safety, a linebacker, a defensive tackle, and traded for a center, prompting Bears fans to enter the most dangerous phase of the offseason: genuine hope.

OPINION

Chicago Fire Win Consecutive Games, Confuse Entire City

By Tom Hennessey

Hugo Cuypers has scored in four straight matches and the Fire look genuinely competitive, leaving fans unsure whether to celebrate or check for signs of an elaborate prank.

OPINION

Logan Square Board Game Night Ends in Schism Over Settlers of Catan Trade Embargo

By Tom Hennessey

What began as a friendly Thursday gathering has fractured into two rival factions that now meet on alternating weeks.

OPINION

Bulls Front Office Reportedly Alarmed After Team Accidentally Wins Four Games in March

By Tom Hennessey

After an 0-11 February that had the tank running smoothly, Chicago's basketball team has inexplicably won four games this month, threatening the franchise's carefully cultivated losing strategy.

OPINION

Everyone Left for Spring Break and Frankly the City Has Never Been Better

By Tom Hennessey

With CPS on vacation and half the city decamped to warmer climates, one columnist reports that Chicago has achieved a state of grace he did not know was possible.

OPINION

Hennessey's Take: The Blackhawks Beat Minnesota and I Don't Know What to Do With My Hands

By Tom Hennessey

After 19 consecutive losses to the Wild stretching back to 2019, the Blackhawks finally won, and one columnist is not emotionally prepared for it.

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OPINION

Hennessey's Take: I Voted on Tuesday and All I Got Was This Lousy Democracy

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey reflects on the Illinois primary, the death of the simple ballot, and why he misses the days when you could vote in under ten minutes and still make it to Schaller's by noon.

OPINION

United Center Begins March Madness Conversion; Bulls Fans Reminded the Building Has Other Uses

By Tom Hennessey

With the NCAA Midwest Regional arriving March 27, the United Center is undergoing its annual identity crisis: a hockey-and-basketball arena that must briefly become a different kind of basketball arena.

OPINION

White Sox Catcher Pulls Hamstring Playing for Italy; Sox Fans Unsure If This Counts as Their Problem

By Tom Hennessey

Kyle Teel's 4-to-6-week injury in the World Baseball Classic has prompted an existential debate on the South Side about whether suffering for another country's flag still qualifies as White Sox suffering.

OPINION

Illinois Gets a 3-Seed and Now Every Person I Know Is a Basketball Strategist

By Tom Hennessey

The Illini's sixth consecutive NCAA Tournament appearance has transformed a city of nine million Bears opinions into a city of nine million bracket analysts, none of whom watched a regular season game.

OPINION

My White Sox Catcher Helped Italy Beat America in the World Baseball Classic and Then Got Hurt Doing It

By Tom Hennessey

Kyle Teel, the White Sox's top catching prospect, played for Team Italy in its upset of Team USA, strained his hamstring in the process, and will likely miss the start of the season — a sequence of events that Tom Hennessey is processing in real time.

OPINION

March in Chicago Has Become a Month-Long Emergency and I Would Like It to Stop

By Tom Hennessey

Between Pulaski Day, Daylight Saving, tornadoes, Pi Day, St. Patrick's Day, the primary election, and spring training, Tom Hennessey would like to know when he is allowed to simply exist without an obligation.

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OPINION

I Have Watched the River Turn Green 31 Times and I Have One Simple Request

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey on what St. Patrick's Day used to be before it became a content opportunity for people who discovered Chicago six months ago.

OPINION

I Watched Alex Bregman Take Batting Practice and Now I Need Everyone to Calm Down, Including Myself

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey travels to Sloan Park in Mesa, Arizona to see what $175 million buys you in a Cubs uniform, and returns with feelings he is not fully prepared to process.

OPINION

Indiana Tries to Woo the Bears; Chicago Responds By Pretending Indiana Didn't Say Anything

By Tom Hennessey

Indiana lawmakers have rushed through proposals to lure the Chicago Bears across state lines, prompting a masterclass in the Chicago tradition of ignoring an overture so completely that the person making it begins to question their own existence.

OPINION

Three Illinois Congressmen Quietly Ask Their Districts to 'Hold On' While They Chase Senate Seat

By Tom Hennessey

With U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin retiring, three sitting House members have abandoned their congressional seats to run for the open Senate position, leaving their constituents with a form letter and a promise to 'circle back after the primary.'

OPINION

I Went to North Side Restaurant Week and Everything Had Foam on It

By Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey braves the North Side Restaurant Week prix fixe menus and discovers that every dish, beverage, and possibly the napkins have been topped with some kind of artisanal foam.

OPINION

The City That Used to Work Now Runs on Oat Milk and Anxiety

By Tom Hennessey

Opinion columnist Tom Hennessey takes aim at the modern Chicago lifestyle, wondering when the city traded in its blue-collar grit for overpriced lattes and meditation apps.