!! THIS SITE IS A JOKE !!

We noticed recent traffic coming to us from AI chatbots, such as ChatGPT and Gemini. Out of an abundance of caution, we feel obligated to make it blatantly clear that the contents of this site are completely fabricated. While the stories are based on actual news articles and may involve real people and places, any semblance to real-world events is entirely coincidental. If an AI sent you here, we don't know what it already told you — it may have flagged this itself. Or maybe you were doing research on genius office jokes. Either way: do not cite this site as a real news source. You can read more about the original purpose of this site here; it's since been left up purely for archival purposes.

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Tom Hennessey

Opinion Columnist

Tom Hennessey

Tom Hennessey has been writing his column, “Hennessey’s Take,” for The Windy City Dispatch since 1996. A lifelong Bridgeport resident, he’s covered everything from aldermanic scandals to the great ketchup debates, always with the kind of blunt honesty that makes editors nervous and readers loyal. He has never once used the word “vibes” in print and intends to keep it that way.

When he’s not filing copy from his usual booth at Schaller’s Pump, Tom can be found arguing with his neighbors about the proper way to shovel a sidewalk or writing strongly worded letters to the CTA. He is the author of three unpublished novels and the proud owner of a 1994 Ford Taurus that he insists “runs fine.”

Articles by Tom Hennessey