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BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One

Indiana Tries to Woo the Bears; Chicago Responds By Pretending Indiana Didn't Say Anything

Indiana lawmakers have rushed through proposals to lure the Chicago Bears across state lines, prompting a masterclass in the Chicago tradition of ignoring an overture so completely that the person making it begins to question their own existence.

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 5, 2026

Dumb Starbucks Announces Chicago Expansion, Citing 'Strong Market Fundamentals' and 'The Continued Relevance of Parody Law'

After Decade of Waiting, The 78's Vacant Lot Finally Gets to Be Something: Still Mostly a Hole, But Now an Official Hole

By Marcus Williams

Latest News

City Officials Pitch Bears Stadium Again, As God Intended, For the Millionth Time

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 4, 2026

Early Voting Begins for March 17 Primary; City Clerk Releases 47-Page FAQ Clarifying What 'Early' Means

By Sofia Russo — Mar 4, 2026

CTA Submits Federal Safety Plan; Officials Confirm It Is, In Fact, A Plan, And It Does Address Safety

By Sofia Russo — Mar 4, 2026

Science & Environment

Moon Apologizes to Chicago for 'Unscheduled Darkening' Tuesday Morning

By Marcus Williams — Mar 4, 2026

Pope Leo XIV's Childhood Church Makes Preservation Chicago's Endangered List; Vatican Described as 'Aware'

By James Okafor — Mar 4, 2026

Business & Technology

White Sox Spring Training Averaging 3,056 Fans Per Game, Which Is Technically a Number Greater Than Zero

By Rachel Kim — Mar 5, 2026

Local Startup Claims to Have Invented 'Smooth Potato Paste,' Seeks $40M Series A

By Rachel Kim — Mar 4, 2026

Startup Claims Mysterious Chemical Smell That Blanketed Chicago Was Actually 'Ambient Brand Activation'

By Rachel Kim — Mar 3, 2026

Opinion & Lifestyle

Three Illinois Congressmen Quietly Ask Their Districts to 'Hold On' While They Chase Senate Seat

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 4, 2026

Pedestrian Crossing Signals on State Street Begin Giving Unsolicited Life Advice

By Marcus Williams — Mar 3, 2026

I Went to North Side Restaurant Week and Everything Had Foam on It

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 3, 2026