The Michigan Avenue Bridge—officially the DuSable Bridge, though it has expressed frustration that “nobody ever uses that name”—raised itself at approximately 7:15 Tuesday morning during the height of rush hour and has refused to come back down, citing what it describes as “years of emotional neglect and a fundamental lack of respect for load-bearing architecture.”

The bridge, which spans the Chicago River at one of the city’s most heavily trafficked intersections, typically raises and lowers to allow tall-masted boats to pass during the spring and fall. However, sources within the Department of Transportation confirmed that no boats were present at the time of the incident, and the bridge appears to be acting unilaterally.

“I carry forty thousand vehicles a day,” the bridge reportedly communicated through a series of mechanical groans that city engineers have been able to roughly translate. “Forty thousand. And not one of them has ever stopped to look at my bas-relief panels. I have four of them. They depict key moments in Chicago history. They’re beautiful. Nobody cares.”

Traffic has been rerouted to the Columbus Drive and Wabash Avenue bridges, both of which have reportedly expressed solidarity with the DuSable Bridge but stopped short of joining the protest. “We support our colleague’s right to be seen,” a statement attributed to the Wabash Avenue Bridge read, “but we also have jobs to do.”

Mayor’s office spokesperson Janet Liu addressed reporters Tuesday afternoon, acknowledging the situation as “unprecedented but not entirely surprising, given the infrastructure’s age and the general emotional climate of the city.” She said the city is assembling a team of engineers, structural therapists, and one art historian to negotiate with the bridge.

“We want to assure Chicagoans that we are taking this seriously,” Liu said. “The bridge has legitimate concerns. It is a historically significant structure and we should have been more attentive to its needs.”

The bridge’s bas-relief panels, installed in 1928, depict scenes including the Fort Dearborn Massacre, the arrival of Louis Jolliet and Jacques Marquette, the rebuilding after the Great Fire, and the construction of the first permanent settlement. Art historians contacted for this story confirmed that the panels are, in fact, “really quite lovely” and “absolutely worth a second look.”

As of press time, the bridge remains raised. A crowd of tourists has gathered on both banks of the river, many of whom are, ironically, now looking at the bridge more closely than they ever have before. The bridge has not commented on this development, though witnesses report that it lowered approximately two inches around 4 PM before raising itself again, which engineers have interpreted as “a sigh.”